Recently, Bella Kotak issued a self-portrait challenge on the heels of my lamentations about not having current head shots. So it seemed like it was just time to do it and get it over with. My last headshots have me wearing boot cut jeans in them.

I did my hair, glued flowers to myself, threw a dress on over my leggings and high top converse sneakers,  and headed out to the Courtyard Marriott here in the Lebanon – Hanover, NH area where there was a giant azalea that I liked. My partner and my 11-year old son helped get the job done. I tried to stage the photos and set up the camera and let Chris hit the shutter.

I learned a lot.

I learned what it’s like to be on the other side of the camera in a new way.  I really hate to have my photo taken, which is why I don’t have updated photos of me for my work, in the last ten years.  But it was hard because I couldn’t see what the images looked like and it was like shooting blind.

Mostly what I learned was when I was in Photoshop, though.

Photoshop is so powerful. I could make myself look 20 years younger again. I could shave off those stubborn 35 pounds I gained since high school.  I could spot heal the grey strands right out of my hair. Sigh. It’s all there. So easy.

With all portraits, I soften skin on people’s faces, sometimes more than others, depending on the look I am going for. I take full creative license with my fine art work, especially mixed media stuff.  But usually, it’s just to clean up blemishes and so on – as if you’re wearing foundation. And I leave it there. There is so much controversy about what is ethical in photography, especially when it comes to women’s bodies. I try to be sensitive to those boundaries. When I am photographing children, I am especially sensitive, so I’ll spot heal acne, but I really keep it simple.

What about with my own portraits? I tried to keep it real.  I am 46 years old and it’s OK to age. And I want people to see the laugh lines. This is 46. So I think I learned a little about myself in this process. And for that, I am grateful. I think it brings me greater insight (and sensitivity) to the people I am photographing.

That said, I need help picking a photo of myself to use on my website and so on. I naturally cringe at photos of myself, so I am hoping for your help! I’d love for you to comment on the blog or on facebook or where ever you’re seeing this, which # photo is the best one. I’ve got them all numbered here. Here goes………….

Firefly Photography is happily booking portrait photography sessions in Keene, NH, Woodstock, VT, Hanover NH, Seacoast, and Upper Valley for dreamy maternity, and child, couples, senior, & family portrait photography.

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